


Only Way To Die Is Alone

by jossujb_OLD_FICS_ONLY (jossujb)



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Out of the Chute, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-23
Updated: 2011-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jossujb/pseuds/jossujb_OLD_FICS_ONLY
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jumping off that balcony was his last attempt to do a selfless act.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Way To Die Is Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this originally right after Season 7 episode Out Of The Chute, and during the promos I was acually fooled to believe House was comitting a suicide, or at least attemting it. Haha, how wrong I was. But it inspired this piece.

The fact always was that he was not killing himself. Not in a flashy way like that, you know, what a waste would dying after so magnificent jump be. You wouldn't hear the masses cheer, nor scream if you happened to die instantly. What's the point of flashy suicide, if you're not going to be around and suffering just to see people react. Being shocked to their own deaths.. Though it's possible to break bones and get ribs plucking holes in your lungs and be alive, so there could be time to see people freak out. But that's rather unlikely, given he distance and hard, stoned floor. He'll just hit himself unconscious.

But another eventual fact was that he was  _going to_  kill himself.

Later.

He saw Wilson's face in the crowd, all panicky already. Funny how you can see that up in the fifth or so floor. Wilson was having a minor heartattact seeing his best friend up, doing something he believed will be the end of it. After the shock of realising he was being bullshitted he'll leave.

That's what he wants.  _That's what one miserable Gregory House wants._  If he's is going to kill himself, he needs few hours in private, without fear nuisances or interruption. Wilson has no sense of self-respect or survival instinct, so he needs to be shaken off violently. That did hurt just a bit, but House hadn't felt much anything lately. It was more like taking a nasty old bandage off, but House knew he wouldn't be around much longer to see his wound bleeding again. He didn't need Wilson anymore. He's not going to bleed, it's not going to hurt.

House's masterplan, to be fair, was rather ingenious. After the glorious jump he'll drink free beer offered by drunken teens. No knowledge of pain, just laughing even though he's not happy anymore, nothing makes him happy enough to pursue Wilson before he leaves for the good. Nothing will make him ask one more change. This is how House drove his only friend away.

Wilson will only benefit from it. He is probably angry now, he thinks House is screwing with his ability to give a shit - again. True, usually, but actually this time, House's motives are quite the opposite. He's doing one big last favor by making Wilson all upset and hurt for couple of days. This way he's not the one who finds his body, all pumped up in meds.

Though, House is not sure will he be taking just Vicodin, but likely he'll just numb all senses that are left with pills and try to choose the dance between hanging and opening wrists. Probably the rope, it's a certain way to die, even though bleeding would be rather smashing and dramatic. But probably not effective enough, and wouldn't it be so embarrassing to wake up in the ER? Ha, such a joke. Cutting is  _so_  for teenagegirls.

Maybe there's a gun to find, there's couple hundred teens in this hotel, someone has to have illegal firearm or daddy's hunting shotgunt to shoot cans over trashcans.

Anyway, it's half an hour after Wilson left. All the clothes are still wet, of course, and House doesn't wish to die wet. He lumps to his room, takes few Vicodins and strips himself finding a fine white rope somewhere. Clean, with hotel monogram. Quite some time after that, after the evening news and late night rubbish he takes his life without leaving a note.

Dying is something to be done alone in silence, he figured.

**FIN**


End file.
